✧ Welcome to batzy's miniblog ✧

bleppppp. idk. uhhhh.. idk.

it was REESES DAY- aka CHOCOLATE DAY. had yummies. also, someone helped me buy groceries, and i'd like to say I hope they are blessed. i said a prayer for them

had fun outside celebrating Juneteenth (it's the same as july 4 for me: american freedom holiday for ancestors i dont have, but that i can appreciate the meaning behind it).... maybe ill have popsicles later. i got NERD popsicles (like the NERD candies)... oh, and my book was released yesterday. ok BYEEE ~~

saw a stork today !!! whoa !!!

did better this Shabbat, BH! did some more writing yesterday. did not win writing contest @ reedsy. will keep going until i do. have to find out how to better market my book.

sometimes i wonder why i feel like im on a hamster wheel. maybe i need to feel like this for a while. idk.

took a good walk + finished short story. found out about a reed book thing. interesting.

i'm so hungry. like wtf. i ate some bfast earlier. unsure what i want to eat now. ok byeee ~~

just got done eating. been trying to "get off" coffee again. it's terrible for the skin! yuckkkk. my face is SO BAD after sugar and coffee marathon ive had for the past two weeks HEHEHE i don't mind tho, whatevs. it's better to have fun periodically. but yeah, gotta put down the garbage bc being healthy feels wayyy better.

hormonal af today :/ aaagh .. i also am dealing with a lot of sensory overwhelm, but i've been self regulating and taking breaks as needed, so that's good.

I wish I could just stop using the internet but i love it so much. i get to control the speed of what i'm doing or learning- it's completely selfled, except now computers can lead US, so that's whwere i really wish i could JUST UNPLUG.

cleaned toilet, bathroom floor, shower, kitchen floor, counters, dishes, fridge, vaccuumed sitting room, hallway, cleaned litter, straightened up rooms, did some paperwork, decluttered a bit. put out recycling, did laundry. said hello to daughter of next door neighbor. social interaction quota met for today. ready to relax.
also wrote a bit. I have to buy more photo prints, frames, and figure out a nice setup for the house. need to reorder some more things..... oooh! also, I found out how i can get to a doctor to help w my pneumonia! ok byeeee~~~

hey... not feeling so good. i have pneumonia. woke up with blueish lips today. unsure if i can find a provider to help me.
I have no friends. a cult has been running a smear campaign against me. unsure what they are saying, but its obviously bullshit. why? well, from a logical standpoint: nobody even knows my business! why? BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO SHARE MY BUSINESS WITH. i'm alone BECAUSE of the gangstalkers. then they get mad when i don't want the handlers they throw at me. i don't need to be handled. leave me tf alone.
on top of it, i have no family because they were just handlers. (i'm a medical experiment. they signed up for it i believe.) i'm pretty sure they aren't my birth family, but that's instinct ---not fact.
the maintenance men in my complex are all weird. i thought one or two were nice, but i'm realizing the awful fact that they are all in on it. neighbors, maintenance, one woman in the office. unfortunately, the newest lady in the office has NO CLUE what she signed up for-- and the gangstalkers all curate the narrative about me.
i love humanity, but i strongly dislike every individual i meet. then again, small town vibes. it sucks.

Helloooo. I'll keep this space as a microblog, but for now I will be posting "serious" or lengthy posts on my SUBSTACK.

listening to ASHLEEINC about time travellers and reptilians, NBD LOL! Anyway.... having fun with art. did a lil doodle of Goodles&Franks RedHot sauce. Ok. Thats it BYEEEE

Very happy! did a lot of work on my art stuffs. Made a Ko-Fi profile, and an Instagram account. I'm really going to take my art (semi-) seriously. Semi, because I have to focus on my health and loved ones. I don't care too much about money, this is just a side hustle anyway. At the end of the day, it's really more about creative expression, and very little to do with money. A doodle a day keeps the flashbacks away.
Also, if you're interested, here is my link tree with a compilation of my links and places to see my art.
Had to get some medicine today, and we are trying to heal up from the strep A + ear infections. What a pain! Gd is good though- we are definitely healing up nicely so far.

did some laundry, cleaned the ceiling, freshened the air, let the light in, did dishes, made myself some breaded mushrooms with cocktail sauce, and did the cat litter. also wiped the walls down. got meds delivered. also ordered stuff for Shabbat. texted Rebbetzin cute little video for Shabbat (i made it on canva!!) and we spoke briefly about enjoying Rabbi Sacks, and how he is dearly missed.

as for the stalking ive been suffering: despite it all, i need to remember to take interactions with other people through the "good faith discussion" lens. not all humans are mean, and even if they are, it's due to spiritual confusion. i need to believe in Gd enough to understand that He will never leqave his people: which include those who harrass me. it's important to look at those people as "future saints" in a way. they just need to be introduced to a more divine mindset to come along, to help enlighten them. all the more reason to continue following the mitzvos so that i can be of assistance to my community.

dont get me wrong, being harassed sucks. it's so painful to know others don't know you but yet judge you. however, they don't know better. they need a hug in their hearts essentially. anyway. Shabbat Shalom, have a wonderful weekend, and remember that you are loved--- if not by humans, then by Gd--- and me! and all those who seek to bring Divinity to earth. Viewing others with B'Tzelem Elohim === Very Important!!

also, wanna see something cute? here's a screenshot of a cat feeder i took yesterday. < 3

if you want to watch the cameras, check out my links section!!!! its under the "amusing" section at the bottom of the page..... it's SO CUTE!

ok byeeeee ~~

everyone in the town hates me. idk what's going on, but there seems to be a group effort at dismantling my reputation. i have no one to go to about it other than a paid professional--- ie, therapist --- because I don't have anyone i trust with this information. i don't trust anyone anymore. after that one girl turned out to be a fake friend who was just feeding my personal info to a dangerous predator--- why would i trust anyone?
i'm so hurt - i keep trying to make friends and they end up being weird, immoral, disrespectful, or straight up hired to destroy me based off what they've been told about me. Here's a fun fact: they're lying about whatever they are saying, and that's why they don't care enough to handle their own business themselves. they're using you, you are a pawn. and for what? so you can get something from said dangerous person? how immoral! how low humans have sunk, to sacrifice their naturally good nature for a speck of dopamine. power? money? is that what makes them happy? it's so shallow. so temporary. and sooo misguided.
i just wish i could have close connections and become a useful part of society. it's almost impossible if nobody wants to see me for who i am, hear what i say as intend... i'm so frustrated. i really love humanity. just not people on an individual basis.... or worse, in GROUPS!!!!!!! :'(

wore clean clothes, fed myself--- listened to a torah based video on ufos. now listening to a video about how everyone looks insane in show business. also, need to eat lighter- my tummy hurts from all the fiber bars LOLOOL!!

people are weird and mean.

heyy again. ate some lunch. gotta go clean but daaaang i want coffee.... Shabbat Shalom btwww !! xxoxoxoxoxo

lag b omer sameach! can't go to the bonfire unfortunately but otherwise a great day. cleaning and im pleased with how it came out.

did laundry. tried to get errand done but it got rerouted to another day. drew a picture of a 1930s fashion sketch -- and if you'd like to see it, please click here.

feeling a little better today. ate 2 hebrew national hotdogs. it's been forever since i enjoyed meat! i only eat kosher and that's the only meat i can buy that is kosher. walked about 1.5 miles today. got new nails so i stop picking my face. updated the art section, so check out the cartoons section .. sending luv 2 all who need it today. i know theres so much pain on earth right now, and my heart acheds for us all.

today isnt great. i dont feel good and i wasn't able to observe the Sabbath like I want to.

a 9 year old boy was killed today in NYC. On April 30, A benefit concert was cancelled in Sydney, Australia, for victims of the Bondi Beach Hanukkah massacre, after a Greek choir refused to perform alongside a Jewish ensemble. On April 29, 2 Jews were stabbed in London in Golders Green. On April 28, Jewish Sites Across Germany Defaced by Vandals With Swastikas and ‘Kill All Jews’ Graffiti. On April 28, Peruvian President Jose Maria Balcazar has sparked outrage after claiming that Jews were partly responsible for “pushing” Germany into war.. On April 27, Jewish Marchers Forced to Leave Milan WWII Liberation Rally Amid ‘Long Live Hitler’ Chants. On April 26, Man Dressed as Hitler Stands on Israeli Flag and Performs Nazi Salute at Boston Marathon. On April 25, Angelina Hicks was arrested for planning a mass-casualty synagogue attack in Texas, which was planned for 2028. On April 23, Students at the University of California, Berkeley applauded a convicted terrorist during a campus event on Monday.. On April 19, a video went viral: A video circulating online shows two British tourists targeting an Israeli couple with sustained antisemitic abuse at a restaurant in Vietnam, ultimately forcing them to leave mid-meal.. On APril 19 2026, An attempted arson attack caused minor smoke damage at a synagogue in North London overnight, marking the third incident targeting Jewish sites in the city within a week, authorities said Sunday, as concerns grow over what officials describe as a coordinated pattern. On April 18, A New York City protest on Friday marking “Palestinian Prisoners’ Day” featured chants, signs, and imagery that included explicit incitement to violence targeting Jews. On April 11, Gravestones toppled in Romanian Jewish cemetery. In March, Soldiers were deployed in major Belgian cities Monday to strengthen security around Jewish sites following a series of antisemitic incidents, officials said. On March 12, 2026 - -The armed man who rammed his vehicle into one of the nation’s largest Reform synagogues has been identified as a 41-year-old naturalized citizen born in Lebanon, according to federal officials. (Ayman Mohamed Ghazali) The armed man who rammed his vehicle into one of the nation’s largest Reform synagogues has been identified as a 41-year-old naturalized citizen born in Lebanon, according to federal officials. In January Dan Sohail repeatedly rammed his car into the Chabad Lubavitch World Headquarters in NYC.

doing one more load of laundry today. vaccuumed, and i need to clean the cat box. listening to a podcast about Dorothy Gibson and her scandals surrounding the sinking of the Titanic- the infamous boat of which she rode, and escaped via underfilled lifeboat. (gasp!) very fun listening, in my humble opinion. upset with the antisemitic attacks as of late, but AM YISROEL CHAI, AM ECHAD! I am not afraid to keep on living. L'Chaim.

pleased with housework progress; vaccuum, litter, cleaning bathroom, dishes, and waiting on the dryer as we speak. as for creativity, i've been journalling more here. i know that doesn't sound particularly creative to some, however i do think it gets my "writing" juice going. otherwise, what opportunities do i have to communicate? To articulate the deeper aspects of my psyche? i'm getting stalked by a group right now, and i remain unsure as to the reason why. the confusion is definitely frustrating for sure, and writing "lets it out"--- a slice to the abcess, letting the toxins out... anyway, until then, i will be stuck indoors for more time than ideal.

doing laundry. gotta order groceries.. have to:meal prep, aaand ... ?? unsure about anything else.... oh, dishes! yes. okay, so that's all i'm doing today. going to give some extra food away, thanks Food Pantry for the hookup on food & TP! Doing the Lrd's work for sure <333

Watching some YouTube videos ("Finding Connections" episode on Chassidim). I love their sensitivity and appreciation for Chassidish culture. I need to figure out what chores I need to do today, but I feel like I've gotten everything done so far. Maybe dishes. Also considering kashering my kitchen. Did some good cleaning, too.

Had a day in the sun, definitely got some color. It's nice. I look healthy. Also, had fun getting groceries and socializing. Walked 1 mile or so.

Oh, no! I've gotten strep throat! I needed to rest a lot. It almost felt like the flu: terrible body aches, serious fatigue. Even laying down and not moving was painful! Ugh. I am getting better day by day , B"H